And everyone better duck for cover when her beach vacation turns into matchmaking gone wild. Outrageously funny and deliciously wicked, Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang is good good good good! Chelsea Handler on. Who else would send all-staff emails to smoke out the dumbest people on her show? Now, in this new collection of original essays, Chelsea delivers one laugh-out-loud moment after another as she sets her sights on the ridiculous side of childhood, Vodka? It's Me, adulthood, the #1 bestselling author of Are You There, and daughterhood.
Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang #ad - . In these personal essays, love life, the hilarious comedian and Chelsea Lately host reflects on family, and the absurdities of adulthood with "cheeky candor" and signature wit Philadelphia Inquirer. Life doesn't get more hilarious than when Chelsea Handler takes aim with her irreverent wit. Being unpopular: "my parents couldn't have been more unreasonable when it came to fads or clothes that weren't purchased at a pharmacy.
Living with her boyfriend: "He's similar to a large toddler, the only difference being he doesn't cry when he wakes up.
Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline AmazingBorderline Amazing/A Chelsea Handler Book #ad - Friends, family, co-workers--they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.
Chelsea handler, from chapter 10 of chelsea chelsea bang Bang It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness, " the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, ChelseaGallery Books #ad - Whether she's convincing her third-grade class that she has been tapped to play Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, or looking out for a foulmouthed, deciding to be more egalitarian by dating a redhead, rum-swilling little person who looks just like her. Only smaller, chelsea has a knack for getting herself into the most outrageous situations.
. In this hilarious, relationships, deliciously skewed collection, Chelsea mines her past for stories about her family, and career that are at once singular and ridiculous. Are you there, vodka? it's me, chelsea showcases the candor and irresistible turns of phrase that have made her one of the freshest voices in comedy today.
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea #ad - Welcome to chelsea's world -- a place where absurdity reigns supreme and a quick wit is the best line of defense. The eagerly awaited collection of personal essays from the bestselling author of my horizontal life when chelsea handler needs to get a few things off her chest, she appeals to a higher power -- vodka.
You would too if you found out that your boyfriend was having an affair with a Peekapoo or if you had to pretend to be honeymooning with your father in order to upgrade to first class.
Uganda Be Kidding MeGrand Central Publishing #ad - But whether she's fumbling the seduction of a guide by not knowing where tigers live Asia, duh or wearing a bathrobe into the bush because her clothes stopped fitting seven margaritas ago, she's always game for the next misadventure. Complete with answers to the most frequently asked traveler's questions, UGANDA BE KIDDING ME has Chelsea taking on the world, hot travel trips, none of which should be believed, and travel etiquette, one laugh-out-loud incident at a time.
On safari in africa, it's anyone's guess as to what's more dangerous: the wildlife or Chelsea. Now, in this uproarious collection, she sneaks her sharp wit through airport security and delivers her most absurd and hilarious stories ever. Wherever chelsea handler travels, one thing is certain: she always ends up in the land of the ridiculous.
Uganda Be Kidding Me #ad - When things get truly scary, like finding herself stuck next to a passenger with bad breath, she knows she can rely on her family to make matters even worse. Thank goodness she has the devoted Chunk by her side-except for the time she loses him in Telluride. The situation gets down and dirty as she defiles a kayak in the Bahamas, and outright sweaty as she escapes from a German hospital on crutches.
My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing PublishingGrand Central Publishing #ad - Often embarrassing and uncomfortable, but most times just a necessary and irresistible evil, occasionally outlandish, the one-night stand is a social rite as old as sex itself and as common as a bar stool. Enter Chelsea Handler. My horizontal life is one guilty pleasure you won't be ashamed to talk about in the morning.
My horizontal life chronicles her romp through the different bedrooms of a variety of suitors, a no-holds-barred account of what can happen between a man and a sometimes very intoxicated, outgoing woman during one night of passion. From her short fling with a vegas stripper to her even shorter dalliance with a well-endowed little person, from her uncomfortable tryst with a cruise ship performer to her misguided rebound with a man who likes to play leather dress-up, Chelsea recalls the highs and lows of her one-night stands with hilarious honesty.
Encouraged by her motley collection of friends aka: her partners in crime but challenged by her family members who at times find themselves a surprise part of the encounter, Chelsea hits bottom and bounces back, unafraid to share the gritty details. Gorgeous, and anything but shy, sharp, Chelsea loves men and lots of them.
My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One Night Stands A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing Publishing #ad - In this raucous collection of true-life stories, irresistible, strange, Chelsea Handler recounts her time spent in the social trenches with that wild, and often gratifying beast: the one-night stand. You've either done it or know someone who has: the one-night stand, sometimes the sole payoff for your friend's irritating wedding, the familiar outcome of a night spent at a bar, or the only relief from a disastrous vacation.
Life Will Be the Death of Me: . . . and you too!Spiegel & Grau #ad - In the process, through unflinching self-reflection and psychological excavation, she develops a healthy fixation on Special Counsel Robert Mueller and, unearths some glittering truths that light up the road ahead. Thrillingly honest, insightful, and deeply, darkly funny, Chelsea Handler’s memoir keeps readers laughing, even as it inspires us to look within and ask ourselves what really matters in our own lives.
Praise for life will be the death of me“you thought you knew Chelsea Handler—and she thought she knew herself—but in her new book, she discovers that true progress lies in the direction we haven’t been. Gloria steinem “i always wondered what it would be like to watch Chelsea Handler in session with her therapist.
Life Will Be the Death of Me: . . . and you too! #ad - In a torpor of despair, she decides that she’s had enough of the privileged bubble she’s lived in—a bubble within a bubble—and that it’s time to make some changes, both in her personal life and in the world at large. At home, she embarks on a year of self-sufficiency—learning how to work the remote, how to pick up dog shit, where to find the toaster.
In the fall of 2016, chelsea handler daydreams about what life will be like with a woman in the White House. Thank you for sharing, Chelsea!”—Tiffany Haddish. Now I know. Ellen degeneres “i love this book not just because it made me laugh or because I learned that I feel the same way about certain people in politics as Chelsea does.
1 new york times bestseller • the funny, assistants, all-true story of chelsea handler’s year of self-discovery—featuring a nerdily brilliant psychiatrist, four Chow Chows, sad, various family members living and departed, some well-placed security cameras, super-honest, a shaman, friends, and a lot of ediblesA SKIMM READS PICK • “This will be one of your favorite books of all time.
The Girl with the Lower Back TattooGallery Books #ad - Whether she’s experiencing lust-at-first-sight while in the airport security line, amy Schumer proves to be a bighearted, laughing out loud, sharing her own views on love and marriage, admitting to being an introvert, or discovering her cross-fit instructor’s secret bad habit, brave, and thoughtful storyteller that will leave you nodding your head in recognition, and sobbing uncontrollably—but only because it’s over.
Ranging from the raucous to the romantic, the heartfelt to the harrowing, this highly entertaining and universally appealing collection is the literary equivalent of a night out with your best friend—an unforgettable and fun adventure that you wish could last forever. The instant #1 new york times bestseller "this is your happy hour with Amy Schumer.
The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo #ad - . She’s an honesty bomb. Now, amy schumer has written a refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of extremely personal and observational essays. It's bossypants meets Trainwreck meets your long weekend. Theskimm “amy’s got your back. She’s in your corner. And she’s coming for you.
Life As I Blow It: Tales of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily in That OrderVillard #ad - And then screwing it all up. From her formative years in small-town Arkansas to a later career of dates, drinks, and questionable day jobs, Colonna attempts to reconcile her responsible side with her fun-loving side. She moves to los angeles to pursue acting, but for years is forced to hone her bartending skills; she wants a serious boyfriend, but won’t give up nights at the bar with her friends.
Sarah believes we all struggle to grow up. She tries to behave like an adult, but can’t seem to stop acting like a frat boy. Sometimes we want to have fun, not take things too seriously, and have that fourth margarita. Sometimes this pans out, and sometimes she finds herself in Mexico handing out her phone number to anyone who calls her pretty.
Life As I Blow It: Tales of Love, Life & Sex . . . Not Necessarily in That Order #ad - In this wickedly funny and irreverent memoir, life, Chelsea Lately writer and comedian Sarah Colonna opens up about love, and pursuing her dreams . Other times we would like to get married, order Chinese food, and have a responsible, stay in, secure life. In the end, she discovers that there doesn’t have to be just one or the other.
And if there’s one thing colonna has learned from her many missteps, it’s that hindsight is always 100 proof. Includes a Foreword by Chelsea Handler.
Man Up!: Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing PublishingGrand Central Publishing #ad - His hasn't been the most traditional way to build a career in Hollywood, but Ross has somehow managed to make his mark without ever compromising who he is. Either of those far-fetched fantasies would have been more likely to come true than his real dream: working in television in Hollywood, California. Seriously, that stuff just doesn't happen to people like Ross.
He is as serious about this as he is about Golden Girls trivia: You don't need to change who you are to achieve your dreams although there's nothing wrong with a makeover every now and then. In this hilarious and inspirational memoir, proud, ross mathews-best known as "Ross the Intern" from The Tonight Show with Jay Leno-chronicles his life growing up as an atypical kid in a small Northwestern farm town to living as an atypical adult in Los Angeles, to eventually being his loud, apologetically genuine self on national television.
Man Up!: Tales of My Delusional Self-Confidence A Chelsea Handler Book/Borderline Amazing Publishing #ad - As a young kid growing up in a farm town, Ross Mathews might as well have wished for a pet unicorn or a calorie-free cookie tree to grow in his front yard. But guess what? It totally did. Now, ross takes us inside his journey as a super-fan, with his first book, revealing the most embarrassing and hilarious moments of his small-town life and big-city adventures.
And, michelle kwan, of course, how he's managed to turn an obsession with pop-culture into one-on-one interactions with celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Madonna, Tiffani-Amber Theissen, and countless more without ever having a single restraining order issued against him. Infused with ross's trademark humor, and total honesty, unique voice, Man Up! is a mission statement for anyone who doesn't fit the mold.
Oh, deliciously dangerous pot butter, then there's his surprisingly shady past involving the cutest pair of plus-sized women's pajama bottoms, and embezzled sandwiches.
Has Anyone Seen My Pants?Gallery Books #ad - From a fling-gone-wrong to friend breakups and a new romance, Sarah’s signature wit and sharp observations take you on a journey at once so deviously funny and surprisingly compassionate that it might just steal your heart—not to mention your pants. New york times bestselling author of life as I Blow It Sarah Colonna is back with a hilarious, honest look at life in her late thirties—in all its messy, pants-missing glory.
How does a gal with a successful career, great friends, and a razor-sharp wit find herself wandering pants-less through the hallways of a casino hotel in Iowa on New Year’s Eve?Ask Sarah Colonna. Has anyone seen my pants? is a laugh-out-loud trip around America and Mexico! with Sarah as she braves crying in nail salons, mother-daughter road trips, Iowan casinos, and single-shaming resorts.
Yes PleaseDey Street Books #ad - In her first book, one of our most beloved funny folk delivers a smart, pointed, and ultimately inspirational read. Full of the comedic skill that makes us all love Amy, to be specific, poetry Plastic Surgery Haiku, Yes Please is a rich and varied collection of stories, photographs, lists, mantras and advice.
With chapters like "treat your career like a bad boyfriend, " "Plain Girl Versus the Demon" and "The Robots Will Kill Us All" Yes Please will make you think as much as it will make you laugh. 1 new york times bestsellerdo you want to get to know the woman we first came to love on comedy central's upright citizens brigade? do you want to spend some time with the lady who made you howl with laughter on Saturday Night Live, Blades of Glory, and They Came Together? Do you find yourself daydreaming about hanging out with the actor behind the brilliant Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation? Did you wish you were in the audience at the last two Golden Globes ceremonies, and in movies like Baby Mama, so you could bask in the hilarity of Amy's one-liners?If your answer to these questions is "Yes Please!" then you are in luck.
Yes Please #ad - Honest, real, and righteous, personal, Yes Please is full of words to live by.